What would your Jeopardy! anecdotes be?

Beth and I are Jeopardy! nerds. At least when WIVB comes in. Our roof antenna is unreliable.

Anyway, we watch whenever possible and love Ken Jennings. I thought about that the other day when I stumbled upon “Steve’s Stuff” on Substack, (https://stevewartenberg.substack.com/)

In his fantasy world, Wartenberg wrote about the inane smalltalk contestants endure and what his anecdotes might be. I took it as a writing prompt.

Ken: “It says here you were once arrested while working as a newspaper reporter. Tell me about that.”

Joe: “I was 22. Two military jets crashed over the Adirondacks and landed on opposite sides of a mountain. One crash site was cleared but had a burning airplane in the forest a half-mile away. The other was an active rescue. I was there as a newspaper reporter. A bystander and I hiked into the woods to look at the crash site. We advanced to see smoke. I heard ammunition exploding and was scared. We turned back. When we got to our cars, the police confiscated my film and charged me with trespassing in a national defense area. Nothing came of it. Eventually, I got my film back. The images were less of a story than the police arresting me.”

Jeopardy No. 2

Ken: “So it says here you once got in trouble for having unlicensed chickens in Niagara Falls? How did that happen?”

Joe: “Where I live, urban chickens are not permitted. I joked about having chickens on social media and someone reported me to the code enforcement department.

“I got a letter in the mail giving me two weeks to get rid of my chickens. I called code enforcement and told them I needed to see evidence of chickens on my property before I could decide how to proceed. I have a right to keep and bear chickens and they have no right to search my property without a warrant.

“I was just starting to have fun on the phone call with the code enforcement director, asking him for evidence of the alleged chickens when my wife, the Great St. Elizabeth intervened to say ‘Can you just tell him we don’t have any chickens. My name was on that letter too.’ 

“I backed down at least far enough to say ‘thank goodness no one reported my pet giraffe. Then I would really be in trouble.’”

To his credit, the code enforcement guy started laughing and said “Now you are just messing with me.”

Jeopardy No. 3

Ken: “So it says here you received two high school diplomas. How did that happen?”

Joe: “It was a senior prank in high school in the days before computers. We were brainstorming what to do when a teacher no one would suspect, the late, great Walter S. Rochna, a sort of self-styled savant. Mr. Rochna dressed in black and white as the Amish do and had a long red beard and pierciing, beady eyes reminiscent of Rasputin. He suggested we create a fake student and showed us how to do it. We enrolled that fake student so he showed up on the absentee list, got his photo in the yearbook and even had him attend class. By the time they figured it out, they realized it was harmless and made a show of giving him (me) a second diploma at graduation.”

I doubt I will ever make it on Jeopardy because I lack the attention span. I also suspect my anecdotes might be too politically incorrect to make it past the editing room. I probably shouldn’t have tried to get photos of that airplane. Joking about my imaginary chickens while hoping they never find my giraffe is only a little funny. And making a fake student in high school might have been just a bit too subversive.

What would your anecdotes be?