'Eggamuffin'

Can you say Egg McMuffin? "Eggamuffin"

Bring back the National Lampoon Radio Hour!

Frank Mariani

Nov 08, 2025

What passed for outrageous (i.e., high-quality) audio humor in the late 1970s, like this parody of Mr. Rogers (Christopher Guest) interviewing a bass player (Bill Murray)*, has been reborn through presidential butchery of the English language, which is simultaneously sad and funny.

*Seriously, folks, click on the link and jump to the 3:10 mark to lead in where Murray utters “Eggamuffin”.

But enough linguistic laughery; it’s time for another …

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Cafe 1600

The White House complex is a large place. Well, somewhat smaller these days (cough-cough *demolition dust* cough-cough), but certainly loaded with various dining areas.

I asked the mighty Google for a list of rooms in the White House suitable for feeding guests, but it returned too much information for my needs. I turned to ChatGPT for a clean list:

White House Dining Areas (largest to smallest)

• East Room – Used for large banquets, receptions, concerts, and state dinners; seats about 200 guests; the largest room in the White House with 22-foot ceilings and crystal chandeliers.
• State Dining Room – Used for formal state dinners and luncheons; seats about 120–140 guests; features historic mahogany furniture and portraits.
• Family Dining Room – Used for small formal meals and staging for state dinners; on the State Floor beside the State Dining Room; roughly 28 × 25 ft; exact capacity not published.
• President’s Dining Room – Used for private family meals; located on the Second Floor above the Family Dining Room; small table for the First Family; exact capacity not published.
• Yellow Oval Room – Used for intimate receptions, teas, and small gatherings; located on the Second Floor; capacity not officially stated.
• West Wing Mess (White House Mess) – Staff dining facility run by the U.S. Navy; located in the West Wing basement; seats about 50 people; operated by the Presidential Food Service.
• South Lawn Marquee (temporary) – Outdoor tented area for overflow or large-scale events; capacity can exceed 700, depending on setup; used for very large state dinners and receptions.

I don’t think DoorDash is the primary food source for hungry White House denizens. ChatGPT to the rescue:

What about White House kitchens?

• Main Kitchen – Primary food-preparation area for state dinners and large events; located on the Ground Floor (basement) of the Executive Residence; includes cold storage and confectionery workspace.
• Pastry Kitchen – Dedicated dessert and pastry production area run by the Executive Pastry Chef; located on a mezzanine above the Butler’s Pantry near the State Floor.
• Family Kitchen – Private kitchen for the First Family’s daily meals; located on the Second Floor near the President’s Dining Room; connected to the main kitchen by a dumbwaiter.
• West Wing Mess Kitchen – Operated by the U.S. Navy’s Presidential Food Service; supports the staff dining room in the West Wing basement and provides catering for West and East Wing offices.
• Butler’s Pantry / Serving Pantry – Service and staging areas for food plating and china storage; located on the State Floor and Ground Floor between the main kitchen and dining rooms.
• Chocolate Shop – Specialized workspace within the main kitchen used for decorative confections and holiday displays; located on the Ground Floor.
• Cold Storage Facilities – Walk-in refrigerators and freezers forming part of the main kitchen complex; located on the Ground Floor.

Is this list accurate? If it needs to be checked, I’ll let you do it.

Here’s a charming historical overview of White House kitchens and dining areas.

I don’t know what POTUS or Veep Vance is scheduled to do on Veterans Day. If indeed the White House is in a pinch and unable to accommodate guests that day, they can pull one of these sheets of budget-friendly goodies out of Trump’s nightstand and hand them out at the East Wing entryway guard gate.