Ralphie the hell dog

Ralphie the demon.

This from the Niagara County SPCA: A helldog up for adoption.

“We've become pros at writing animal adoption posts. With the adorableness we encounter daily, we have tons of material. Sometimes we can sugar coat the less than desirable traits like- prefers to be an only child. This one stumps us though. We don't actually have too many nice things to say so we're just going to come out with it.

“Meet Ralphie. At first glance, he's an adorable highly sought after, young dog. People should be banging down our doors for him. We promise you, that won't be the case. Ralphie is a terror in a somewhat small package. What could go wrong with a 26lb dog, right? We're sure you're thinking: my ankles will be just fine. We'd caution- proceed at your own risk.

“Our best guess is that Ralphie's cute face got him whatever he wanted and boundaries are something he heard people talk about, but they didn't apply to him. His first owners took him to board and train, but their relationship was built on the premise that Ralphie was the boss so things ended abruptly. He was rehomed. Two weeks into this new home and he was surrendered to us because "annoys our older dog". What they actually meant was: Ralphie is a fire-breathing demon and will eat our dog, but hey, he's only 26lbs.

“Lots of people withheld Ralphie's less than desirable traits, but we're going to tell you all about it. He's a whole jerk- not even half. Everything belongs to him. If you dare test his ability to possess THE things, wrath will ensue. If you show a moment of weakness, prepare to be exploited. Sounds fun, huh?

“The ideal home for Ralphie is the Mother of Dragons, or an adult home free of other animals, with an owner who will lead him calmly and sternly- putting up with zero crap. On the bright side, Ralphie's previous trainer will provide his new adopters with the training tools they believe he needs to be successful in a home.

“Serious inquiries only. No, we will not make exceptions. No takesy backsies (kidding, obviously).

“Give us a call at 716-731-4368 ext 301 if you're that crazy.”