Tour Tales

Robot trucks

Working as a tour guide, I get to meet all sorts of interesting people.

One recent such guest was a Walmart truck driver. He’s been at it for 30 years. The evolution of technology is stunning.

He’s driving a new truck that ergonomically adjusts to his body and recognizes him when he climbs in.

It is not robotic but close. There are cameras and computer screens not mirrors because cameras see better. It knows the speed limit and senses danger. If the driver is drowsy it pulls over. Everything is on camera.

It is adaptive cruise control to the nth degree. It can take evasive action as well as calling 911 in an emergency. My driver guest said he had his phone in a cupholder and reached out to change podcasts.

When his run ended, he was called in and written up. A less experienced driver would have been dismissed because of a zero tolerance policy. The only thing he still has to do is back into the dock when he reached his destination.

The days of driverless trucks are coming

What about Bill?

Four people came for a bike tour. Grandson, uncle, dad and granddad.

I oriented them to the e-bikes from Buffalo Bike Tours and took them for the usual circuit, Cataract Park, car bridge to Goat Island, Terrapin Point, Three Sisters Island and then out toward Whirlpool and DiCamillos.

It was at Stedman’s Bluff that Victor asked me to guess Bill’s age. Their plan was bike ride, golf simulator and dinner at the Red Coach followed by golf the next day.

I guessed and never got it right. Bill was the friendliest and most interesting of the foursome though Jack, the triathlete grandson who works as a trader on an exchange in Toronto was equally fascinating. Jack was 26. Bill was 90.

As we rode the bike path toward Whirlpool Park, I led the group behind the stone wall roughly adjacent to Spruce Street because there is a spectacular view if you look back toward the falls.

Suddenly, Bill was bent over his bike. I panicked, thinking it was a health emergency. It was not. It was a mechanical emergency. He quickly diagnosed the rear wheel had disengaged. We did not have the tools it would take to fix it.

Of the 5 of us, he was the most mechanically adept. I realized as he fiddled with it and the son and son-in-law took out their phones to video, I was becoming a party to “the Legend of Bill.”

Victor later showed me a photo of an e-assist tricycle Bill built so he could take his nonagenarian wife for rides.

They weren’t too disappointed. The athletic grandson carried the bike out to the road. I sent the other 3 back to the storage container and road home to get my vehicle and transport the dead bike.

It ended our tour but I still think they had a great time. It’s like that unforgettable bad weather day hiking. Never let anything spoil a good day.

Never assume

I did a wine tour recently with two 60-something couples, one from North Carolina and the other from rural Michigan.

The Ohio couple was white, blue collar, kind of quiet. They both worked at the same place. He operated bottling machinery and was mechanically inclined. I don’t remember what she did.

The North Carolina couple was of African-American descent, He was retired from kitchen work. She was retired from legislative work.

None of them moved well. In a party of 4, they tallied 6 knee and hip replacements, the payoff from youth sports and blue collar labor.

Far be it for me to judge. The men were quietish. The women got along famously. They both liked sweet wine and became fast drinking buddies.

We visited Bella Rose, Schulz, Victorianbourg and Marjim Mano. They liked Victorianbourg best. Sometimes it's best to just fade in the background and let things happen. 

As a tour guide, it is usually best to be accommating and graceful.