Tour Tales

Hassles at the border

They came from Australia, ready to be picked up at their Fallsview Hotel and spend a day seeing Niagara Falls, USA. They had flown in separately, but matched their trip for one leg of lengthier stays, with one headed for Texas the other planning to head to New York.

It was all fun and games until the impossibly young border patrol agent inspected their passports, which had Visa waivers, and ordered us to the side as he confiscated their passports and my license and sent them away via a neumativ tube system that made me think of a bank.
“You’ll need to get a stamp” he said. “Pull to the side, head inside and take the elevator to the 2nd floor.”

We did as instructed. On the 2nd floor is a cavernous waiting room that feels like a bus station. Cold, bureaucratic with warning signs. “No cell phones allowed” and a chart listing Mexican provinces and indigenous languages.

There were people of multiple ethnicities waiting in the dank, cheerless space. 10 minutes felt like an hour before we were summoned to the inner sanctum.

My travelers were taken one at a time, quizzed about where they entered Canada, what the purpose of their trip was and electronically fingerprinted.

Then they were subjected to a final indignity, a $30 US fee. Pay it or you can’t enter. There was never an explanation. It felt like a shakedown.

My guests did not get their passports stamped either. It took 45 minutes of our limited time together. Of course they blamed our President.

Wine tours

They came from Kansas City, a retired agency owner and her nurse friend, both mid to late 60s and widowed.

Like a lot of visitors from that part of the country, they gave the Trump apology. “I like a lot of what he has done but he needs to learn to shut his mouth.”

My guests were using Uber for local transportation because that’s safer than driving if you plan to be drinking. They bought a wine tour for the same reason.

One liked sweet wine, one liked dry. We went to Bella Rose, Schulz, Victorianbourg and Marjim Manor.

Bella Rose we always hit because they give 5 large samples. Ditto Victorianbourg, with the added bonus that they give a free bottle to tour guides.

Schulz and Chateau Niagara I choose because both have excellent wine.

Schulz is always a pleasure. I think their Aurelia might be the best white on the wine trail.

Chateau Niagara has great pinot noir, cab franc and Bulls Blood, a Hungarian-based red that Jim Baker might be the only person in North America making.

If you enjoy fruit wines, Marjim Manor and Margot Bittner are worth a visit, especially given the added bonus of ghost stories and cats.

The firefighter and the editor

I had a fun bike tour with a couple from Philadelphia last week. They were staying in Canada and he popped the question over chicken pot pie at the Irish Harp in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

We did the usual, visiting Goat Island for Stedman’s Bluff, Terrapin Point and Three Sisters Island. Then I brought them over to Prospect Point for so they could go down the fire escape to the overlook next to the American Falls while I watched the bikes.

We also did what has become my favorite part of the adventure. We pedaled down the Gorge View Path to the spot where you can cross a small patch of grass on the right and then cross under the bike path and get onto the Great Gorge Railway Trail which allows you to ride downhill all the way to the start of the Whirlpool Rapids. It’s a spectacular place hard to find without a local guide.

The guests, 30-something, were science nerds of the highest order who both took pay cuts change careers in recent years. She is a PhD level anthropologist now working editing technical science books after leaving a research job. He worked for years as a mechanic employed by Amazon who now works as a Philly firefighter.

He described firefighting as 80% EMT calls and 20% firefighting with some nonsense thrown in, like the time a truck got robbed during a fire. The suspects took personal car keys and a wallet and then stole the firefighter’s vehicle knowing no one would be watching the firehouse.

More bike guests

Another couple came from Salt Lake City for a bike tour. They were retired early in their early 50s. They marveled at everything I showed them but they were a bit stiff and not that friendly.

Still, they enjoyed the tour and had fun even if they never really warmed up.

It’s rare for people on an e-bike tour to say they have e-bikes at home, let alone two high-end Specialized bikes but these people did.